newriverdress: axomat 4 color

"Everything I asked for, you were all Iapos;ve ever wanted"

12th October 2008

God took her early cuz He loves her most.

When she already couldnapos;t move, couldnapos;t talk, I held her hand prayed into her ear, she summoned all her strength just to grab my hands tightly, to show that sheapos;ll always love me.

Everytime she said "I love you", I never replied. I was never one to express my feelings (to family).
But when I felt her hands tightly around mine, I was so overwhelmed it suddenly dawned on me that I may never be able to see her again, confide in her, shared joy, fun laughter. Hold her hands while out shopping, looking for good food.

Iapos;m just glad I got to tell you I love you before you left. You were the only one who understood me. The only one who could tell I was crying even just by the silence over the phone.

Living with you for almost two years, Iapos;ve had no regrets. All you did was try to make me happy, try to accomodate me. But all I did was being a selfish ungrateful brat who didnapos;t appreciate what I had, that was a motherapos;s love.

My brothersapos; I held on to her hands till her final breath.
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I saw the most beautiful sunset, ever. Thatapos;s my mumapos;s pretty face smiling down on me, saying sheapos;ll always be looking out for me.

I guess the fact that she will no longer be with me (physically) didnapos;t sink down till I was in the bus on my way back just now.

I love you mum, Iapos;ll always do.

I know the easiest way to get through this is by forgetting,�but I know you want whatapos;s best for me, I know youapos;ll understand, as you always do.

But youapos;ll always live in my heart, I love you forever ever cuz youapos;re the only one in the whole wide world.

I am gonna miss you very very much.

I know youapos;ll be going somewhere much much better, away from all the troubles of life. I know God has saved a place for you in Heaven. You will always be #1, I love you forever ever.